| Abortion
Through Your Eyes
This week's thort is going to comprise of more
testimonies because I think they speak a lot more authoritatively
in some areas than I could on the topic:
Firstly two different people recommended I read
a book which deals with the topic and so I have gone out and bought
it but not started it yet - here is what they had to say:
"an interesting, pretty hectic and emotional
book to read is Atonement Child by Francine Rivers, it is about
a girl who is raped and the major decisions she has to make.. it
really made me think.
just want to let u know about the book...ok
it is a story about a girl and she has it all..she's young, beautiful
and she goes to a Christian college, this is where she meets her
man. He is a real catch...anyway she has it all then in one "horrific,
terrifying moment, Dynah Carey's perfect life is shattered by rape,
her future irrevocably altered by an unwanted pregnancy, her doting
family torn apart. Her seemingly rock-solid faith is pushed to the
limits as she faces the most momentous choice of her life-to embrace
or to end the untimely life within her."
So I will get to that book as soon as I can
and let you know what I think, but one worth looking out for.
Starting off with more from Tim who shared in
the last thort:
With regards to an abortion after rape, I'm
not sure I have an absolute answer in that situation. But I know
there is a difference between what FEELS right or wrong and what
IS right or wrong, and much of the decision that would be made in
a rape-based abortion case comes from the (justified) feelings of
anger, hate, shame, and countless other intense emotions.
The thing I'm trying to emphasize by sharing
my story is that the abortion dilemma has less to do with the pregnant
woman than it does with the child that she is carrying. I so often
hear people argue for abortion (especially in the case of rape)
on the grounds that the pregnancy will have a destructive effect
on the mother, but who mentions the child? Let me illustrate…
As a musician, I'm not too crazy about classical
music, but one guy who stands out for me is Beethoven. He was a
fourth child, and the three children his mother bore before him
all had MAJOR problems from birth – one deaf, one blind, etc.
So his folks were practically EXPECTING a child whose life would
be tremendously impaired. The thing was, he became the greatest
composer of all time – most classical music is defined in
terms of being post-Beethoven or pre- Beethoven. His life appeared
to have no value in the face of his parents having to raise yet
another child as challenging as his siblings, but he proved his
value a thousand times over.
Then there is the testimony of Sharon Black:
I was one of the Blessed - I was born into a
family that celebrated the truth, taught the truth and made a way
for me to have a relationship with CHRIST our KING. As with all
human beings and particularly teenage human beings - I decided one
day that I knew better and announced that I would never attend church
again! This broke my father's heart as he really did believe that
it was his job to bring his children to GOD. Selfish, pig headed
and arrogant I did not see this at the time and allowed myself -
maybe even drove myself away from the truth and into a life of worldly
'fun'.
The wheels came off as I am sure you would know
and I became a mother at the age of 19. I was married and had another
child and suffered abuse from my husband and at the age of 22 found
myself divorced and on the street with two children. My parents
opened their hearts and their home to me and in their way tried
to bring about the changes in my life that I so badly needed.
Not listening, not looking for GOD or hearing
HIM. I fell pregnant with a man that I was hoping would fill the
deep void within me ... to cut a long story short ... he ran at
the news and I was alone. I was alone and I was afraid and I was
confused ... my own fault because in my heart I knew that there
was the answer in GOD but still chose to rule my own life and to
make choices for myself. I had an abortion ... now this was a very
long time ago. It was not easy, it was not safe and it was not at
all right. I met some incredibly unsavoury people who gave me potions
and mixtures and stuck knitting needles into my body and still I
remained pregnant. Now I was afraid that if I did not 'get rid'
of the baby it would be born deformed and I spent every drop of
energy in finding a way. There is always a way, make no mistake
... the evil one is everywhere!
I had it done, and empty and alone I went home
to recover in my bed and all I did was cry and wail and pound at
the walls of my life. Still ... I did not seek GOD.
Years later I met my husband that I have been
gloriously married to for the past 18 years. We wanted a baby -
I mean really wanted a baby and I suffered 6 miscarriages until
GOD Blessed me with my littlest one.
During all of that time of trying and losing
I allowed myself to believe the lie that GOD was punishing me for
my sin of abortion. It was not until my father died and I had a
major faith crisis and was lovingly restored to MY KING through
people like you that I found salvation for this sin. I confessed
it to an audience and felt the LORD wash me clean and make me whole.
I imagine that if there is any way to serve GOD and to thank HIM
for HIS amazing and absoloute MERCY, it is to share this story of
mine.
The point of this story is that I LOVE my children
with all my heart and I count them as the most divine gifts I have
ever been blessed with. I know that if I had only trusted in GOD
at that time of my life ... if I had only turned to HIM .... If
I had only taken hold of the TRUTH I would have brought into this
world another child through the work of HIS hands. I know without
any doubt that the price for this awful sin was paid on the cross
by CHRIST ... just as I know without any doubt that the LORD in
his power would have provided a way for me to have had that child.
I know that women suffer anxiousness, fear and a certainty that
what they are doing by having an abortion is in some way better
for the child as well. This is a lie, it is a lie that the evil
one uses when we are at our most vulnerable. I pray that if anyone
reads this and is in the position that I was in ... they turn to
the LORD and he will give them HIS forgiveness and BLESS them with
a way to bring that life that HE created into the world.
This morniNG I was reading the Song Of Mary's
in Luke - where she gives Praise to the Lord for the Blessing of
JESUS in her womb. It struck me deeply - this was a woman pregnant
out of wedlock - and yes I know it was extremely different but she
had the Grace to obey the LORD and to go ahead with the birth.
Sharon
When I asked Sharon for permission to use this
as a thort and whether I could use her name or not she wrote this
back:
As to using my name - with all my heart I give
you my permission, perhaps this will give me a way to help and to
be obedient to GOD in doing so. You may also use my e.mail address
and invite anyone who needs to discuss this with me to email me.
I think that another important lesson is the fact that the LORD
knows our deepest secrets and actually HE is the only relevant judge
- what people think or say is not relevant at all, so I am not afraid
to be exposed - if this helps one person, then it is worth having
done.
Sharon Black (sharon@f2b.co.za)
Then there was a slightly different in tone
email from my friend Jade and I thort it would be good to share
this because I am sure there are others who have been reading the
thorts with the same kind of feelings:
I just have some opinions to do with you thorts
over the past two weeks that i would like to share with you. They
might sound a bit harsh but it's just the way i'm feeling, and i
feel very strongly about this topic.
Firstly, i agree with most of the things you
are saying and especially in the area that if you don't want to
get pregnant you shouldn't have sex. But on the more sensitive issues
of rape etc i just want to share something with you. I realise that
your thorts are your opinion and what you think is right, but Brett,
try being a woman and being faced with the fear of being raped almost
every day.
In discussion with my friends we often say how
rape is the thing we fear most, none of us could even imagine the
pain of falling pregnant because of that. I don't think i would
no how to deal with that situation except by getting an abortion.
The truth is that you're a guy and you will never exerience what
it is like to be pregnant with a rapists baby and i haven't had
that experience either. but to be perfectly honest it is much easier
for you to say how wrong abortion is even in these situations when
you yourself will never ever experience them. You don't have to
live in fear of being raped and falling pregnant and then having
to deal with the consequences.
Also one last thing is that there are also these
hectic emotional things that come with giving babies up for adoption,
can't say I'd like to go through that either. OH yeah, maybe abortion
should not be so women focused but men need to realise that they
also play a role and that they have a HUGE responsibility as well.
Anyway, hope you have a great week. God Bless
Love jade misplon
Then part of my response to Jade (who I love
and respect VERY much for writing this kind of real, honest email
to me):
The one thing I have realised from someone else's
mail is the first thort (with the 'don't stick the penis in the
vagina' comment) was written without specifically thinking of rape
as a related topic - so that harsh way of stating it which was intended
to shock and grab attention was written aimed at those who chose
to have sex and thinking about it now if I had thort of the rape
aspect I possibly would not have included that statement which must
smack of insensitivity to someone who has undergone rape. But that
was not the target audience of that thort (which I know does not
help now!) and from the responses to that thort and the reply to
the letter that was published in the Argus/Cape Times (shortened
version of thort) I had that topic brought into focus which resulted
in the second thort (and probly one more because this is not a topic
I want to brush over - really want the people who need it to have
the time/opportunity for healing and restoration and understanding)...
The question the reply asked me in the paper
was something like 'you call abortion murder. does that still apply
when the person is raped?' - I will admit it becomes a lot trickier
and difficult to understand when it is rape... but if I believe
that abortion is murder then that HAS to cover all backgrounds of
abortion and so I stand with my statement.
The line that stands out for me (in the Tim
mail I quoted from above to her)is where he says there is a difference
between what IS right and wrong and what feels right and wrong...
If we REALLY believe in an all-powerful God then surely that has
to cover giving a woman strength/boldness/support to do the humanly
unthinkable thing of going thru with a pregnancy that is an ongoing
reminder of the evil that has been done to her... if you say abortion
is the ONLY response then what if you know the kid will be born
'deformed' because surely your argument would almost have to be
the same for both and then you are treading on very dangerous territory
with what next? Old people etc... I'm not saying for a second that
this is easy or possible from a human perspective but from God's
perspective He can make the impossible happen.
And then I shared this other email that I received
in response to the first TFTW which was maybe the most hectic one
so far:
Hi Brett
I just wanted to share a short and uplifting
story with you in response to your last Thortfortheweek on abortion:
On my first day at advertising college I met
a girl in my class who already had a 1 year old kid. She was only
18 years of age at the time, but what really surprised me was how
excited she was about her child. On that first day (during a lunch
break in the college canteen), she produced her purse and proudly
began to show us all her photos of her little blonde son. There
was joy in her eyes when she spoke of him and he would even come
to visit us sometimes in class. She came from a loving Christian
family and was very blessed to have parents that stood by her and
supported her throughout her pregnancy. They seemed just as besotted
over their grandson as she was over her little boy!
I remember the day she told me how she got pregnant.
She was 17, in grade 11 at high school, and had been leaving a club
one night. She was attacked and horrifically raped in the club's
parking lot, and to this day she has no idea who the rapist was
and what he looked like. On top of that horror, she fell pregnant
from the rape, and had to endure her matric year whilst carrying
her child to term. But she carried the child to term. She chose
not to abort it. In the end, out of something so ugly and horrific,
God was able to bring something beautiful and joyous into her life.
I remember her telling me that why should her child pay for what
someone else had done to her?
I still remember that first day in the canteen
with her showing us her child's photos. She was (and still is) such
a proud mom. And he, in turn, has brought such joy and happiness
into her life.
Her story is remarkable, and nothing short of
a miracle, when considering the circumstances that brought her little
boy into this world.
ONLY GOD!!! and I hope that this email has maybe
given you some more stuff to think about and consider... please
let me know what your response is and again thank you so much for
writing what you did... I am accountable and want to be held so
by all TFTW readers...
God bless you love brett
And lastly Jade's reply to me:
Hi Brett
Firstly, you are more than welcome to use my
e-mails for any of your thorts and i don't mind if you want to use
my name or anything.
In response to your e-mail firstly i want to
tell you that i don't dispute that what you are saying is right,
because it is. Perhaps what made me feel most uncomfortable was
that it was the cold hard truth. But maybe it was not so much what
you said but that it was you who said it. Don't take this the wrong
way and i don't know if other people feel the same but hearing it
from a guy just makes me put my guard up because it will never happen
to a guy.
But perhaps i'm wrong and i definitely agree
with you because this shouldn't be about a women or men thing it's
about the child. I don't know...... it's really just the way i feel
about this subject and i suppose none of us will ever know how we
would handle the situation until we are in it. That story about
the girl who was raped that you sent me was really something that
made me think, thanks so much.
Anyway......just some of my thorts. Have a great
week, looking forward to you next thort to see what other people
think and thanks for taking the time to get back to me, really appreciate
it. God bless, love Jade
So ja, Wow! A lot of stuff. THANK YOU SO MUCH
TO EVERYONE WHO WROTE IN AND SHARED PERSONAL STORIES AND THORTS
ON THE TOPIC. I didn't use all of the stuff I got because there
was so much, but hopefully with the stuff we have seen over the
last two weeks we have got a lot of stuff to think about and take
to God and process and work through. This is not an easy topic.
It is not something God intended. Abortion is one of the consequences
of a screwed up world. But it IS a relevant isue and so we as the
church have to have thort abot it and have an opinion.
Let me finish off by reminding you of the Godly
'Love the sinner, hate the sin!' philosophy that I think was what
Jesus demonstrated. Abortion is wrong. It is a sin. It is an abomination.
BUT someone who has had an abortion is to be loved and cared for
with all of our heart and strength and soul and mind.
Those of us who don't love those who have had
abortions, or are practising homosexuals, or have had sex before
marriage, or are living together out of marriage, or who are caught
in extra-marital affairs, or on drugs... who of us has the right
to throw the first stone? [John 8:2-11]
Have an awesome week, loving those around you
who may be in even greater need than others who may be in somewhat
easier circumstances.
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