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It has been a very difficult time. Andrew's tumors are growing very fast; he has stopped eating; and he is on IV morphine at doses that would knock over a horse. His red blood cell levels are so low that he should be delirious, yet he is lucid and interactive and, at times, even funny. While his body is wasting away and does not have much time left, his spirit is indomitable and he retains his loving, caring outlook through it all. The doctors expect that he will not make it through the weekend, but little of his disease has gone as predicted. We struggle as we watch his body fade, but are so encouraged by Andrew's bonding with us through all this. He touches everyone with whom he comes in contact with love. It is an amazing thing to watch. I continue to struggle with 'why'. Many have asked me why God has chosen not to heal Andrew with all our earnest prayer. The engineer inside me struggles to fix anything broken - any question unanswered; so I have spent a lot of time considering this. I do not pretend to speak for God or imply that I have THE right answer, but I have some insight into this after all this thought. God made each of us for a purpose. As we live our lives we touch and minister to each other as part of our purpose. While I cannot presume to speak for God's purpose for Andrew's life, I have seen Andrew and his story touch hundreds, perhaps thousands - beyond anything most of us get a chance to do in our much longer lives. Andrew has taught so many about childlike faith and unconditional love through trial and hardship. I know my life has been deeply changed and I expect the same is true for many of you. My sincere prayer is that all of us grow to be more Christ-like in our lives through sharing Andrew's life. Please carry our family in prayer through the next few days. They will be very hard! When Andrew leaves us he will be much better off - free, at peace, and in a much better place - but we who remain behind will mourn our loss. May God fill you with peace, love, and joy! Andrew spent last night in the hospital to get blood - red cells and platelets. His heart cannot handle sudden increases in fluid volume, so the doctors give him the cells slowly and in intervals so his system can cope with the change. His body appears to be unable to generate red cells or platelets anymore which indicates the tumors have taken over his bone marrow almost completely. He is still eating an occasional chicken nugget, although they are few and far between. His energy level is low and he has very few good moments. We spend much of our time balancing his pain medication and rubbing his legs to keep him comfortable. Melissa's mom was here for a few days and my parents came for a few days to help us with the load, but now we are "circling the wagons" of our family. We want to spend time as a nuclear family, to draw strength from each other, and to talk through our worries, fears, and the future. We appreciate the calls and visits we have had, but as we go forward we need to be close, quiet, and undisturbed. Today marks my 43rd birthday. I find myself thinking all day that I'd trade them all and all I have left to let Andrew have them. Through all this he remains a loving and caring little boy. He is still a giving and tender soul through all the pain and it often feels totally unfair. Melissa and I talked about that today. Nothing about this or most of life is fair - and yet God grants us grace and mercy when we quite clearly don't deserve it - any of us. I can't explain why a little boy has to die; but I know that Andrew will have touched more lives for good in his short life than most of will in our full lifetimes. We ask for your prayers and support through this tremendously difficult time. Each day is a challenge to keep Andrew comfortable, keep his spirits up, and keep our spirits up. We covet your prayer support to carry us through this time. Listed in this document are hotel and transportation information. If and when Andrew's funeral comes we won't have the time or energy to help with logistics or host anyone at our house, so we send this information out now in preparation for that time. Also, we ask that you not send flowers either to our home or to the funeral, but instead contribute to the medical expense/memorial fund we have set up. Thank you for your love and prayers! God bless! The fund-raiser for Andrew on Tuesday night was incredible, overwhelming, and many other adjectives! The community supported us beyond our wildest dreams. The link below can give you a bit more information from the paper on it. http://www.journalnet.com/articles/2004/02/11/news/local/news01.txt At one point the line of people inside was all the way around the store and half way around again. The drive-thru line came from two directions and both were a half-mile long. They sold 2,536 orders of chicken nuggets (for you counting out there, that's 12,680 nuggets.) It was an amazing night! Andrew lasted about an hour, but between the overwhelming crowd of people (all who wanted to say hello) and getting the hiccups (which frustrated him), he needed to leave after a little over an hour. For those of you in town who went, thank you very much. For those of you who donated, either there or since, thank you very much! We have been so overwhelmed by the generosity of people to our family. It is just amazing. Andrew's condition remains about the same. He needs regular doses of Methadone and Hydrocodone to function. But when we have his doses set right he is able to play and talk. Because our schedule changes and his activity level changes, we still are challenged to keep his medication level steady and at the right level. When he is in pain he just wants someone to hold him and watch videos. By early evening, regardless of how he has done during the day, he is tired and goes to bed early. He typically wants someone to cuddle with him when he goes to bed - he is afraid to be alone. He is the caring gentle boy he has always been and still prays for others and not himself. He is an excellent example of what I should be; what I want to be. Please keep us in your prayers. The days are tiring for all of us and the need for patience, wisdom, and hope grows each day. We pray for a miracle and prepare for the inevitable. We all will pass on to another place at some point; it appears that Andrew is getting a head start on eternity. I have had a couple people point out that I should provide an address to send funds to. Please do not read this as a solicitation, just information (it makes me feel a bit guilty to even bring up money, since God has continued to provide so well, but many people are asking.) You can send funds directly to the bank or our church at the addresses below: Andrew Nelson Fund or Andrew Nelson Fund We have struggled with giving this fund a name since it is not specifically a memorial fund, nor a expense fund - hence the rather uncreative name. But, as I have said in previous messages, we will use the funds for expenses where necessary and, if Andrew dies, use the remainder for some sort of memorial. Again, please feel no obligation. This e-mail list and web site are for prayer support and information, not financial support. God has and continues to provide finances beyond anything I could have ever hoped or dreamed. May God grant you an extra measure of His peace today and every day! It has been a difficult and eventful week at our house. Andrew's condition has degraded a bit and we have been struggling to find the balance between not enough pain medication and having him unable to move due to pain in his legs and too much medication and putting him to sleep. He continues to be the caring, patient little boy he has demonstrated throughout even in this time of frustration and pain. His friend, Joe, organized a half birthday celebration this week since he had promised Andrew he would come to Andrew's fifth birthday party. Andrew had cake a presents and Joe and Kathy came and John, Lana, Adam, and Levi came to celebrate as well. He didn't feel too good, but the presents, in particular, brought a smile. We have had a reporter and photographer from the local paper with us during part of the week. What started out to be a small article ended up being a three page spread covering Andrew and our family and friends very well. It is in the Sunday Idaho State Journal. Here is a link to the story: http://www.journalnet.com/articles/2004/02/08/news/local/news01.txt Andrew's Grandma Becker is here and that has made Andrew happier too. Grandpa Becker is staying in a nursing home for a few days while Grandma visits. He is a bit sad and lonely without her, but he wanted Andrew to see her too. Grandpa is continuing his battle - primarily with the stroke effects. His cancer is not growing very quickly, but he has had pain and is battling the effects of the mini-strokes he had which have reduced his mobility and his ability to communicate. Joe is doing a bit better after his surgery and made special efforts to support Andrew. We appreciate his love and dedication to Andrew and our family. Andrew continues to pray for him every night. The girls and Melissa and I are coping. Kelsey and I went to the Daddy-Daughter Dance at school last night. She had a blast (and I had a good time too.) The girls are attending regular counseling which has allowed them some place to get some relief. We have engaged Hospice which is helping all of us cope. We also have had the support of some very special doctors and nurses that have gone way beyond the call of duty to help us and Andrew. We pray every day that Andrew will have peace and be pain-free through his remaining days. Please continue to hold us up in these difficult days. We thank you for all of your support! God bless you in all you do! Today we learned that Andrew's tumors are growing
again - in spite of the chemotherapy. This was a probable outcome
- it is rare that a chemotherapy drug will continue to be effective
as the body (and, in this case, the We ask for your prayers. We do not give up hope for a miracle, but after 22 months of fighting, I believe God has chosen to take Andrew home. If this is the case, it is for Andrew's best, but it makes me sad beyond anything I've ever experienced. Please pray for Andrew's peace through a miracle of healing or through God calling him to heaven with as little discomfort as possible. We don't have any idea how long this could take (we know that Andrew's friend, Jackson, only survived three weeks after they stopped treatment). We covet your prayers and your understanding if we don't answer the phone or are a little detached as we focus on the time we have left with our precious Andrew. I apologize for the time that has passed since the last e-mail. When Andrew is doing well, it is hard to write - it admits that there is still something abnormal or different about him. Christmas was a magical time! Andrew had a fantastic time and received lots of presents. He, like so many children his age, wanted to play with the last toy he opened rather than open the next package. Last year at Christmas he was on a respirator and we sang "Silent Night" around his ICU bed. This year Melissa and I cried when we sang "Silent Night" at our Christmas Eve service. It was such a blessing! Andrew has been doing extremely well until this week. He is going to school two days a week and can't wait to go the next time. However, this week has been a major trial. Tuesday he started having stomach pain. We eventually figured out he had a blocked bowel and after two days of laxatives and suppositories, he finally got relief. But that then caused him to be dehydrated. We ended up in the hospital to get him IV fluids to help him feel better. These fluids loaded his heart, causing it to work harder and increase his pulse and he needed to stay overnight for observation until his system got back in balance. He is still having stomach pain and a bit of fever, so he might have a bug he is fighting. He isn't felling too well today. In addition to all these "little" issues, the doctors here in Pocatello feel that his tumor may be getting bigger. Tuesday Melissa and Andrew will go to Salt Lake City to have tests and scans to see where we are. We knew up front that there was little chance that chemotherapy, if it worked at all, would eventually become ineffective as his system adjusts to it. The list of things left to do is growing much shorter. Throughout these last five months, that we really didn't expect to have, have been filled with joy in Andrew's life and ours. But at the same time, we knew that, short of a miracle, we were only borrowing time. That knowledge has torn me in two - not wanting to hope for a cure or a miracle; not wanting to get too excited about successes and happy times because it could change so quickly; wanting and praying for a miracle and, at the same time, not daring to believe that a miracle could come. Our family needs your prayers desperately in the coming days. We have sincerely appreciated your love and support and prayer over the last years! We need prayer for Andrew to be healed or, at least if healing is not in God's will, that he be spared the pain. Melissa and I deeply need prayer for wisdom, faith, hope, courage, and patience as the medical issues get more complex. Our girls also need prayer to be at peace and able to live a somewhat normal life through what is to come. You might note that I am expecting that we are taking a turn for the worse. I ask that you pray that things continue to be peaceful and good, but I am trying to brace and prepare for the worst in case it does come. We ask for your prayers for Melissa's dad, David, as he continues to deal with the after effects of the strokes and his cancer. He seems to be doing okay and he and Mom are getting home care to improve the quality of both of their lives, but it is still a challenging life. Also we'd appreciate your prayers for Joe. He is fighting his cancer and has needed surgery. He and his Mom, Kathy, and his brother, Dave have come to visit and Andrew is always so excited to see him! Andrew prays for Joe every night. God has been and continues to be gracious to us and we have so much to be thankful for - friends and family that care and are always there to help us out. For financial health in the face of all of the medical bills (the stack of Andrew's bills and reports is now over 14 inches tall) and God has provided funds in several ways to cover this and then some. And for a job, colleagues, and a company that have been so supportive and flexible in dealing with our situation. We are blessed! Thank you all so much for your care and concern! It has been quite some time since I have written - probably because writing this reminds me that there is something unusual about our family. But it is time to get you all caught up on the our family. Last year at this time Andrew was in Intensive care with little chance of survival. We were doing nearly round-the clock vigil over him. Man y prayers and tears flowed at this time last year. This year many tears and prayers flow again - this time prayers of thanks and tears of joy! Andrew is doing pretty well. He has been weaned off all of the blood pressure medication and only takes medicine to keep his heart function up and prevent pneumonia. Latest tests show that his cancer is about the same - not growing or shrinking. His hair is coming in thin and light so he's not completely bald anymore. He has started going to school regularly and he is really enjoying it! His class put on a little Christmas program and he was so cute singing the songs and trying to do the motions. It was a great joy for us to see him being so normal! Brittney and Kelsey are doing great as well. Both have been getting the best grades they could get. Brittney is enjoying third grade and taking piano and singing in the Tavaci singing group. Kelsey is loving first grade, learning to read quickly, learning piano, and singing in Tavaci, too. They are so caring and understanding when their brother needs a break and have been helpful with all the thing that we have needed to do. Melissa has been busy getting ready for Christmas and taking care of the family. She has had a very busy season taking care of Andrew's medical and really celebrating this Christmas season to make up for last year. I have been buried (far too buried) in work and papers and patent filings this year. I probably bit off far more than I should have, but things are winding down. The next few days should allow me to clean up the last details and close out the year. Now I need to spend some time trying to find balance to my life - I have push work down the priority list. Melissa's mom and dad visited us at Thanksgiving. We had such a joyful time - a deep time of thanks - remembering that neither was supposed to be here by this time this year. Our lives have become for day to day, and a lot more thankful. Melissa and Andrew saw Joe the last time they were in Salt Lake. He is still battling cancer and the treatments. He and Kathy need your prayers. I wish I could express my feelings right now. I want to hope for the best for Andrew; I want to believe that a miracle will come; I want to celebrate this season and start planning the coming year. But God's plan is different. He wants Andrew to be with us, but He has not chosen to cure him - at least not yet. The pressures of work and the season and the stresses of Andrew's illness and the flu that all of us have had have made me more stressed than I than I've ever felt. More than anything this year I pray for peace - peace from the stress and the illness and work and then uncertainty of our world. We seek your prayers in this season - prayers of thanks for how well Andrew's doing; prayers for healing for Joe, Melissa's dad, and for Andrew; prayers for peace for Melissa, the girls, and me; and prayers for our sad world that misses the real gift of Christmas - Jesus Christ came to earth to save us from the evil, sadness, and turmoil that this world has become. May your Christmas be one of peace, joy, and love. Merry Christmas! Tuesday Melissa and Andrew went to Salt Lake City to see the doctors for his cancer and his heart function. The tumor appears from the scans to be a bit bigger in part and smaller in other parts. We think that the doctors had not planned on Andrew to make it this far so this is fantastic news! We will keep on with the chemotherapy just as we are now - doing it ourselves and at home and trying to give Andrew as normal a life at home as possible. His heart condition was a bit poorer than last time, but the cardiologist felt that this wasn't a big problem. She increased the drug used to improve the heart function and is taking him off his blood pressure medications. So, even though we aren't looking at a perfect result, we feel like we are making progress in this area as well. Dropping the BP meds should improve his energy some and that will be interesting. He gained almost five pounds since last time and looks very healthy, so he may be like a normal toddler (read running out-of-control) with even more energy. He eats more than his sisters now and just seems so normal at times that it is actually possible to forget he's sick. Today at church he sat with our good friends (and his God-parents), John and Lana and their boys. When offering time came, he ran around half-a-dozen pews to come and get offering money from us and ran back so he would be ready to put his money in the offering plate. He just exudes love and compassion and energy - it is such an amazing thing to watch and learn from. Lately we have been reminded that trials and temptation are ways God can use us to mature and grow in character. We have grown so much from dealing with Andrew's illness and from the support our church and friends have given us. Last year at this time, Andrew was recovering from his second bone marrow transplant. At the beginning of December he was moved to Intensive Care where he was on a ventilator for most of December and early January. Today, if you overlook his bald head, one would be hard pressed to identify him as any different from most kids his age. What a gift! And what a reminder that we have SO MUCH to be thankful for! In two weeks we celebrate Thanksgiving. The stores would have us look past it to Christmas. As we reflect on our lives, let us all hold firmly in our minds the things we have to be thankful for. In our family, we will share Thanksgiving with two people we were told would not be here by now, Andrew and Melissa's dad. We came very close to losing our nephew, Jacob. My grandparents have gone through all kinds of medical issues and still, at 97 and 95, they continue to keep the nursing home staff and my parents hopping to keep up with them. God has been gracious and merciful to us and we give thanks. I ask you to take some time in these coming days to reflect on all your blessings and give thanks to a gracious and merciful God who owes us none of this, and yet pours it on over and over again. We ask for your deepest prayers for Joe, who is in the hospital with intense stomach pain. Wednesday they did surgery to remove an obstruction and he is doing better. He made some progress with the size of his tumors, but these complications are very hard and he and his mom, Kathy, deeply need God's touch in their lives right now. We also ask for your prayers for Andrew to continue to heal - for his tumor to grow smaller and vanish. Please pray for Dad to improve. He and Mom are coming for Thanksgiving. Our house is not well suited for him with his reduced mobility (we have a house that is a stair climbers dream.) Please pray that their stay will be a time of great thankfulness and joy. Please pray for our girls as they deal with school and wild interruptions in their schedules and the stress of Andrew's illness and knowing that they could lose three grandparents and a brother very quickly, should God choose. We are thankful especially for you, our extended family of prayer supporters. We are constantly encouraged by your support and love. We could not have come through so much without your support and the mercy and grace God has shown us. In this Thanksgiving season, we will be giving thanks for you! I know that some of you probably thought we had fallen off the end of the earth since it has been so long since I have written. We came close, but I'll get to that later. Andrew has had a few ups and downs. He is still
generally a happy, caring boy and likes to watch videos and snuggle
with his Mommy. He has been less active over these last weeks and
we So I guess what all of that says is that he is surprising the doctors in that he continues to do pretty well, but we really don't know if he is getting better or not. We are thankful for every day we have with him!!! He is an example to me daily of Christ's love - he is going through so many challenges and yet he constantly is thinking of others. He prays for Joe every night and his prayers are all prayers of thanks. He says "Thank you God to make Joe feel better. Thank you for making him smile. Thank you for helping us sleep good tonight..." What an example of Philippians 4:6 - "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Andrew is always thanking God for answers even while he is asking for them. His faith is inspiring; his love is deeply touching; and his focus on other people in the midst of his trials is challenging. Andrew is a normal four-year-old in most ways (temper tantrums, selfishness, demanding at times), but in these ways he has challenged me to grow up. Last weekend some very nice friends let us use their cabin near Bear Lake (in SE Idaho.) It was quiet and peaceful, with no phones (except the cell phones we brought), no e-mail, and some real quality time as a family. We really needed the escape and it was an incredible blessing. Their cabin looks down on the lake and the beauty of the region is awe-inspiring. Starry nights without the city lights drowning out the stars; sunshine and clean air and natural beauty surrounding us - it was such s great reminder of the splendor of God's creations. Sunday morning we decided to drive down to the beach (the cabin is a ways up the hillside and there is no direct beach access.) We drove around for a while before we found a beach that was not private and closed. We found the State park on the north end open and drove down to the beach itself. The lake is way down due to the years of draught in our area and it is a couple hundred yards from the access ramp to the water. So I drove the mini-van a ways out on the sand (like many others had done in the past.) I looked at Melissa as we were going and said "I wonder where the sand starts to get soft." Right then the wheels started to bog down. Melissa laughed and replied " About right there." We were stuck! Being a somewhat typical man, I jumped out to look over the situation. I found a long 2x4 and told Melissa to get in the driver's seat and I dug out the sand under one of the wheels and stuck the 2x4 under it. Then, in my best impression of the Incredible Hulk, I pushed while Melissa put the van in reverse. Well most of you probably have guessed that I got sweaty and sandy, but the van didn't move. Fortunately, the one moment of lucid thought I had reminded me to lift with my arms and legs and not my back. Well, while I'll was trying to figure out how to get the van out of the sand, Melissa remembered our AAA membership and the cell phone and called for help. Thank the Lord that she had a clearer head than I. It took them 90 minutes for the tow truck to get there, so the girls collected shells while I flagged other drivers coming down to the beach not to drive as far as we had. It only took about five minutes to get out once the truck arrived. In the end, I was dirty and got myself a great set of sore muscles and we all have an adventure to laugh about. We ask for your continued prayers for Andrew. We have gathered from indirect references from our various doctors that they didn't really expect Andrew to survive this long. We thank you for your prayer support which has carried him (and us) this far. We praise God that He has given us Andrew and given us so much more time than we could have ever expected. We need your prayers for his healing and for his comfort. We ask that you would pray for relief from the side effects of the chemotherapy. We also ask for your prayers for Melissa's dad, David. He had to be hospitalized two weekends ago from effects of a medication he received. The doctors have also found that the cancer has returned to his head. He is needing a lot of care. Please pray especially for Melissa's mom, Glenys, as she takes care of dad and organizes the support care that they need for him. Please pray for all of Melissa's family as they deal with these two dear family members' battles. We saw Joe and Kathy today and got good news that Joe's tumors have gotten a bit smaller. We are not throwing any parties yet, but this is fantastic news. Joe and Kathy need your continued prayers for his recovery. Lastly, I want to ask that you hold up Melissa in prayer particularly. She faces the loss of a child and a parent while maintaining the life of a parent for two active girls and keeping her juvenile-delinquent husband in order. And she does it with a grace and positive outlook that never ceases to amaze me. Thank God that I don't have to face this without her. May God bless you and keep you; may He shine on you and be gracious to you; may he look upon you with favor and give you His perfect peace. Just a piece of good news to pass along - Andrew's urine test came back with both indicators down! The last two tests have had one value go down and the other up. These indicators are supposed to be proportional to the amount of tumor in his body. Having both go down is great news! Thank the Lord! Please remember to thank the Lord for this in your prayers as well! May God's blessings fill your life! It has been an extremely busy time for me at work and the usual bustle at home which makes the days slip by quickly. I can't believe it has been 16 days since my last update! Andrew went two weeks before needing another blood transfusion. Friday he needed red cells and Sunday he needed platelets. He has been happy and playing and has had little side effect from the chemotherapy. We have done everything at home except the blood work, with the help from some nurses, friends, and on our own. Andrew's appetite continues to improve and has ebbs and flows during the day depending on what else is happening - just like most normal children. When there's something exciting going on, he's not hungry. When things are boring, he's hungry. Yesterday he had another urine sample taken and we'll find out later this week if we continue to make progress, are staying even, or losing ground to the cancer. So much of our life has become routine in handling treatment and working around Andrew's support that, at times, I forget that I should relish this time - it may be fleeting. My company had its Initial Public Offering (IPO) last week and is now traded on the NASDAQ. It was a momentous time for AMI and it people. The excitement of that and several changes in my responsibilities have kept me running (and working late into the night - fortunately on my laptop, at home) trying to stay ahead of things. This week is the most intense and then things should retreat back to just a simple, frenetic pace. ;-) The girls are handling school well and have piano lessons and a singing group to keep them busy outside of school. Melissa is happy being able to have a few friends over now and then for coffee and treats (she's all about having treats!). So, I'd say that in general our life is quite happy and peaceful and God has blessed us in this time. In the back of our minds we carry the fear of what might come next but try to focus on the joy of today. Sunday at church we sang one of my favorite songs whose meaning came alive in a new way now - Faithful One by Brian Doerkson. I'll try to run the words by you from memory (please forgive any lapses): "Faithful One, so unchanging, God has blessed our family richly and in these times of trial and, at times, hopelessness, we have clung to His love as our anchor. He has and continues to carry our burdens (when we allow Him to) and loves us directly and through you and your love and concern. Please pray for a miracle in Andrew and that he continue to have times of great joy. Please hold our family up for peace and for us to continue to cling to our Anchor. Please pray for our friend Joe as the treatments don't seem to be having much effect on his disease, but have all the side effects. And may the Rock of Peace be your anchor in your storms of life. We have had a very good week with Andrew. His appetite continues to improve (although he hasn't gained any weight yet) and his energy level has also improved so he is playing a bit more and walking and climbing stairs. He has not needed a blood transfusion all week. His blood counts are getting better on their own which is a very encouraging sign. He still is quite shy and even crabby in big groups or when lots of people come up to us, so it isn't easy to show his improvement. The urine test that was taken to determine if the tumor is growing or shrinking came back with a very puzzling response - one measure much higher and the other much lower. Again Andrew is confusing the doctors. Our Oncologist is looking into what this might mean and told us the secondary signs (like appetite and blood counts) suggest that the tumor is shrinking or, at least, not growing. We are thankful, but are careful to remind ourselves that the odds of a single chemotherapy curing the cancer are very long. We are not ruling out miracles, but we can't live on the emotional rollercoaster, so we just take each thing as it comes with as little excitement either way as possible. We still pray and ask you to pray for a miracle for Andrew. The rest of the family seems to be doing okay. We take each day one at a time and deal with each high and low point as they come. We have been so blessed by the support I have had from work and the support and prayers of our friends at church! God has truly taken care of us through this difficult journey! Some days I think how much easier it would have been to have lost Andrew suddenly instead of fighting and wondering and waiting for the outcome. But all these days with him have been a treasure. He is so sweet and gentle and loving that I can't imagine life without him. He has started to make jokes now. He is still bald as a billiard ball, but a couple days ago he said that we needed to deal with his "messy 'do." His smile is infectious and he cares about others. When we're out to eat, he asks us how our food is. When we look tired or sad, he tries to comfort us. He is just a blessing to have as our child. Imagining the future is a very hard thing... Thank you for your love and support! Please continue to hold us up in prayer. At times it may feel inadequate, but it has kept us together when times have been rough and continues to fill us with a peace the doesn't fit the turmoil we are in. I apologize for how long it has been since the last journal. When I wrote last Andrew was experiencing significant leg pain, he was unable to produce any measurable platelets which required that he get transfusions every couple of days, and he was lethargic and only wanting to be held - not active at all. This week has been one of measurable progress. We are reluctant to take hope from this progress for fear of the letdown on the other end, but his progress is cause for cheer - it is making his life much more enjoyable! The leg pain was well managed by the prescription the doctors gave us, but within a couple of days he no longer needed any pain medication as the pain dissipated. His appetite was limited to Melissa's baked beans and Wendy's chicken nuggets. He has added pancakes, grapes, cheese, and chocolate pudding to his menu and is eating much more normally again. That has improved his strength and his energy and he is playing a bit again and talking a LOT! Today Andrew received more platelets, but it had been five days since the last transfusion and his count was actually up today from Friday. We did the transfusion because his level was fairly low and the platelets had been prepared for him and would expire tonight. It is quite a cause for celebration that he is able to produce platelets as it MAY indicate that the cancer is being reversed in his bone marrow. We take great caution in this because we are trying not to get our hope too high, but all the signs this week have been positive. Please pray for Andrew to be healed - either by miracle or medicine. We thank you for your abundant prayers, encouraging e-mails, hugs, and support. We feel quite blessed that so many people care for us and pray for us in this time of trial. I believe God is honoring our prayer by helping Andrew feel better, regardless of the final outcome. We still pray for a miracle and for the strength to trust God and His sovereign plan. Andrew's cousin Jacob is home with a big question mark shaped scar and a very thankful family that he seems on the road to full recovery. He was perhaps less than a half hour from death and the doctors remarked at how surprised they were at his incredible recovery. We give thanks to God who answered our prayers over Jacob in a big way! Joe has visited us a few times in the last couple of weeks. He continues on a new drug regime and we pray that his cancer would respond completely and that he would be healed. Joe and Kathy have really become a valued part of our family and Andrew loves Joe so much - he's like a big brother and Santa Claus all rolled into one for Andrew and he looks forward to seeing Joe any time they come. Melissa and I struggle with our deep desire for Andrew to be healed and our just as deep desire that he not suffer any more. We have started preparing for the possibility of a funeral and hope that our preparations are not needed. Perhaps it is a way to plan something (a deep need for both of us) when planning is not an option for us much right now. We feel frustrated, powerless, hopeful, and appreciative. There is such a mix of feelings that they are hard and tiring to sort out. We appreciate deeply your prayers and support - thank you just doesn't cover it, but THANK YOU!!! We still need much prayer for peace and strength for Melissa and I and our family. Andrew is feeling better, but he does have one unusual problem right now - he is getting mobbed when we go out in public. There are so many people that want to see how he is doing that he doesn't get much personal space when we are out. He has gone to preschool a couple of times and he has a hard time sharing space with other kids. He has spent so much time in isolation that he doesn't have much tolerance to other kids getting into his personal space. He doesn't have too much problem with sharing toys, but to have someone close to him besides mom or dad does seem to be a problem. Please understand that if you see Andrew and he seems crabby or sad or tired, it is just his way of coping with more attention than he can handle. Many have offered to give blood for Andrew. We have looked into it since I am the same type as Andrew, but the staff has told us that such a specific transfusion is more expensive than using the supply already available. However, any of you that can donate blood, regardless of type, will help Andrew or hundreds of others like him that need blood to save their lives. It is truly the gift of life. In the same way, those of us who know the Lord have a vital Spirit of life that we need to give to others to save their lives. It has been a very hard day. Last night Andrew began to complain of leg pain. He has had some pain in his legs on and off for a couple of weeks, but we have seen muscle cramps with those complaints (his electrolytes have been off.) But this time the pain is due to the disease invading his bones. This was the first symptom we saw when he was diagnosed and indicates continuing progression of the cancer even with chemotherapy. Andrew was not able to sleep much last night spending much of the night crying and screaming. He even said at one point "Leg stop hurting." We have better pain medication tonight and at the moment he is resting peacefully. We are committed to keep him at home as much as possible - his chemotherapy is taking place here and as much of his treatment as possible will be here. He will probably need regular blood transfusions and our pediatrician has set up a program at the local hospital to minimize the impact on time away from home for that. This rather sudden change has reminded us of where this is going - we are feeling more sad and weep over Andrew's pain. We understand that medicine has no real chance and, short of a miracle, Andrew is not going to live much longer. That is very hard to say or write. We have prayed diligently for a different outcome, but God's plan is different. I would be lying if I said I am comfortable with that - I am angry and hurt. But I am only angry because I will miss Andrew - I rejoice that Andrew will be free of the pain and suffering that this world has offered and will join the "great crowd of witnesses" cheering us on someday soon. That brings me to something that has crossed my mind and, most likely, most of your minds - why has God chosen this result when so many of us have prayed for Andrew? I certainly don't claim to know the mind of God, nor can I explain the mysteries of His plan; but I believe that good can and has come out of this difficult situation. We have grown closer to God crying out to Him over Andrew. Andrew has taught many of us a new level of courage and perspective over our trials - so many of the things that bring us down are so minor by comparison to the challenges Andrew has faced. Andrew has taught me to love others and care about them regardless of my situation. I encourage you to continue to reach out to God in your trials and hold each other up. Your prayers have helped our family immensely - we could not have coped with all of this pain and stress without God's hand holding us in response to your prayers. We are hoping that tomorrow Andrew's friend Joe can come for a visit. He is back in Salt Lake City after the treatment in San Antonio did not help. They are trying new and different ways to attack his disease and his outlook is better than Andrew's. Joe continues to be a big support to Andrew and a witness to the people around him. Please continue to pray for Joe - he needs God's healing to carry him through his treatment and drive the tumors out of his body. Please pray for our family as we cope with this situation - for Melissa and I to have peace and to make wise decisions; for the girls to be able to cope with such a tragedy so close to them; for Andrew to be able to enjoy this time and not have pain; for the rest of our family to have peace. May God bless you and fill you to overflowing with His love, Today Andrew is getting platelets and preparing for surgery tomorrow to get his port put in. It will make all the chemotherapy and blood work much easier. This morning we went to the zoo and this afternoon, while Andrew and I are at the clinic, Melissa, Kelsey, and Brittney went with "Aunt Kathy" (Joe's mom - both of whom we have adopted into our family) to the Grand Hotel for "High Tea" - a very elegant tea party - to celebrate Kelsey's birthday. Tonight we'll go out for dinner for her birthday and have presents and then when we get back to Pocatello we'll have a party for her. Andrew continues to lose weight and is easily fatigued. He understands that his cancer is back and that he will probably die - he occasionally cries about this and has told us that he doesn't want to die. Today he cried and said "I'm sad cause my cancer is back." He is now also showing symptoms of pain from the tumor growing in his bones. It is so hard during these times. But he continues to amaze me with his courage and his love for others in spite of all of this. While in Florida we stayed at a place called "Give Kids the World". It is a wonderful place with 96 villas for families to stay in, a cafeteria, a pool and water playground, an ice cream parlor (open all day), an arcade, a theater with two showings of movies every night, a mini-putt golf course, a chapel, and a lot of beautiful gardens. They brought the Disney characters, Barney, and Shamu to the grounds for the kids to meet, get autographs, and get pictures. It was a great place for kids who aren't very mobile to have a magical experience. Everything at "Give Kids the World" is free for the families - all the ice cream you can eat included. they also supplied free tickets for Universal Studios, SeaWorld, and Disney World. This is a place that truly runs on donations and volunteers. They cover everything. Don't ask Melissa or I about it unless you have a lot of time - we can not say enough good things about what they do!!! We had a great day at Universal - riding the Suess themed rides and visiting Jurassic Park. Melissa and I rode one of the Double Dragon roller coasters. We had three wonderful days at the Disney Parks. At Animal Kingdom we were selected to be the host family for the day, got special seating for the "Festival of the Lion King", and had a memorable time in the "It's Tough to be a Bug" show. At MGM we ate at "Pizza Planet", saw "Muppets TV", and a show at "Playhouse Disney". At the Magic Kingdom we had a great time riding rides - Andrew's favorite was "Buzz Lightyear" (a ride/video game hybrid) - and the girls favorite was the "Space Mountain" roller coaster. At SeaWorld we were able to see the Shamu show and left just before everyone got soaked! Andrew got very special treatment and got to meet the dolphins and feed them in a very hands on place. They took our family to the training area and blocked everyone else out. Andrew loved getting to pet the dolphins. The best part was being able to go right to the front of the lines in all the parks for rides and autographs. My most memorable moment was when they asked us to stay after the Playhouse Disney show and Andrew got to meet the Bear (in the Big Blue House) personally. He got a hug and we have pictures of them together and with the whole family. For Andrew, the times with Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Buzz Lightyear, Mike and Sully from Monsters, Inc., and many, many other characters were so special. He was looking forward to meeting them and wasn't disappointed!!! We are glad we did not take our trip to Minnesota - Andrew has declined a great deal and needs immediate attention to stop this decline. We ask for your fervent prayers as he battles this and all the discomfort and discouragement. He was not old enough to understand the first time, but now he knows what is coming and he is sad and scared. Updates on others - Jacob is doing much better and will be coming home on a train with his mom and dad. It was a close call and very scary for Matt and Detra, but all are doing better. They continue to need prayers as Jacob recovers and they travel home. My friend who has lost her hearing has a new lease on the challenge as the doctors have found that her old implant is probably not working and are trying to get her a new one. My Grandmother has been relocated to a Memory unit as her condition worsens with Alzheimer's disease or something similar. We are relieved that the doctors see the symptoms as she has exhibited some very erratic behavior and we were concerned that she could make some bad decisions if it was left up to her. So this situation is better although no one likes putting someone in such a facility. Melissa's dad is still fighting with the effects of the cancer treatment and his strokes, but they are planning a trip to Hawaii next week to vacation a bit. We are glad they are feeling so adventurous and a little concerned about the challenges for mom with such a trip. But maybe we are being over-protective parents. I'm sure I have forgotten something, but there are a lot of blessings in this list. There are a lot of challenges as well. Andrew's surgery is tomorrow morning. Please pray that he would be okay. He is running a bit of a fever tonight and we are worried that he may not be fit for surgery tomorrow or have an infection. He needs so much prayer over this time and so do we. The reality is hitting home and we are very tired and discouraged and even a bit afraid. Please hold us up tonight and tomorrow. We had a great week in Florida last week! There is a lot to cover, but not much time to cover it tonight. I will fill in a few of the details when more time is available. We had to cancel our trip to Minnesota. We were sad, but Andrew had a tough time with the heat and humidity in Florida and showed some signs of poor blood counts, so we decided it was better for him not to take the trip. We spent a good portion of today in the clinic in Primary Children's talking about further options. The day before we left for FL we had blood tests, urine tests, and red and platelet transfusions. His counts today were back to the levels before we left on the trip - a rather steep decline in seven days. His urine test showed that the oral chemotherapy had little to no effect at slowing the tumor growth. So we decided today to have a port (an access to his blood stream that we can use for blood draws and chemotherapy) put in and to change to IV chemotherapy. Tomorrow he will get platelets and Friday he will have surgery to put in the port. He will start chemotherapy next week and we are hoping to get everything arranged so we can do it at home. There is so much to tell, but will save it for tomorrow. Please pray for Andrew and our family as we go through the next couple of difficult days. Tomorrow (8/21) is Kelsey's birthday. Please pray that we can make it a memorable day for her in spite of all the distractions with Andrew's treatment. We need God's hand on us as we move forward - there are so many decisions and the nagging thought that this is all for naught. May God keep you in the palm of His loving hand. Today was a very long day! We drove to Salt Lake City and went to the Oncology clinic. Andrew had blood drawn and a urine test, but before the results came back we decided to give him a transfusion. He had platelets and red cells and we saw an immediate improvement in his energy and disposition. His Cardiologist also checked him and his heart function continues to be good, so we are dropping one of the heart medications (hopefully the one that makes him so very lethargic and sleepy and grumpy.) Tomorrow, very early, we leave for Disney World. Please pray that we have a safe trip and Andrew has a wonderful time! And please continue to hold him up in prayer for a miracle and for peace within our family. An update on Jacob, his surgery went well and he is recovering. The doctors told his parents that the timing of his operation was very close - a little later and the outcome could have been much worse. Please thank the Lord for His mercy on Jacob and continue to pray for his recovery. We have experienced the "best of times and the worst of times" in the last few days. If you will indulge me, I'd like to start with the bad news first - it needs so much prayer. Tonight we learned that our four-year-old nephew, Jacob, was hit in the temple by a swivel chair which caused bleeding into the brain cavity. He has had emergency surgery and is in Intensive Care tonight. The situation was life-threatening as an artery was broken causing a lot of fluid build up around the brain. Please pray for Jacob's complete recovery!!! Please also pray for Melissa's brother, Matthew, and his wife, Detra, as they cope with Jacob's injury and the trauma of a sick child! We also learned this week that a friend had a bike accident and damaged his spinal cord - prognosis is uncertain. He and his family need a great deal of prayer. Brittney and Melissa went to the funeral of her friend. It was hard but Brittney wanted to go to support the family. We're so proud of her! Today she wrote a note to her friend's family to let them know how she felt about their daughter - it was so sweet! Please pray for that family as they mourn their daughter/sister. Melissa's dad is also struggling with the treatments and challenges of his cancer and the damage from the strokes he had from it. Please pray for him and for her mom as they deal with his illness and all the medical issues of their grandchildren. This is a huge burden for them. I'd also like to ask for your prayers for a friend who has lost her hearing. She is a music teacher and has been battling this hearing loss for quite a while. In fact she taught music last year while severely hearing impaired - quite a remarkable feat! She is losing ground and it is an enormous burden on her. For those of us that can hear, we cannot imagine how isolating the loss of hearing can be. She needs your prayers that God will reveal to her His direction in her life from here on and that He will make His presence very real in her life right now as she struggles with feelings of isolation and loss. So much pain and trial has come along in our lives, the lives of our family, and our friends. We ask for your support in this challenging time. Now to some good news - Andrew drove a train on Wednesday! The local media were there and the local railroad gave Andrew an engineer's hat, safety sunglasses, ear plugs, and gloves to drive with and a teddy bear with an engineer's hat and a toy train. Then he got on a real freight train (over 6000 feet long) and get to learn how it ran and got to blow the whistle at every crossing on the whole 30 mile trip! While on the train he was quiet and a bit overwhelmed. Afterward he talked the whole way home about how much fun he had! He was smiling from ear to ear. He still talks about it. The local media covered it on all three TV stations and the front page of the paper. The railroad was so generous and deserved a lot more good press then they got. Then Thursday night we camped out (in the backyard) with his buddy Joe and Joe's mom, Cathy. We had cookout and smores and had a blast! The ladies slept in one tent, Joe and Andrew in another, and I slept outside on the porch swing (there wasn't any room left in the tents.) We had a wonderful night! Today some friends took us out boating at a local reservoir. They pulled us on a inner tube and we had a picnic and had a great time! Andrew stayed in the boat, but said he wanted to go again when we were cleaning up to go home. The girls had fun on the tubes and laughing at Melissa and I when we fell off the tube. I got up on water skis on my second try - the first time water skiing since I was 16 (26 years ago). It was a good day and everyone will sleep well tonight. Andrew has requested Melissa make a pot of beans three times this week. His appetite hasn't been as good as we like, but he is still eating - particularly beans. He has had several good days this week. He likes being at home and insists on sleeping with us. We don't know how long he will continue to feel good but he is doing very well right now. The media said he had 4 to 15 weeks to live - we don't know where they got that figure, but it is baseless. We just don't know. God may heal him through the next chemotherapy or miracle, may take him tomorrow, or he may do well for a long time. We live each day as completely as possible and don't worry about tomorrow. Please remember Andrew in prayer and ask God for a hedge of protection around our family and friends. We need a respite from all the bad news and issues. We are surprisingly at peace in all of this chaos and we know it is God's gentle hand on us due to your prayer support. What a week! We have fought with the horrid feelings of frustration, loss, anger, and despair. We have begun to deal with things like what treatments we should do with Andrew and what we will not do - what activities we/he want to do and how we can fit them in. And we have had some incredible family time together. Saturday we went to Bear Lake with good friends. We had a great time on the beach until a storm came up and we had to pick up and leave. Andrew didn't play much because his heart meds made him a bit sluggish. But he still talked about the lake and the beach and having pizza dinner together. Sunday we went to Lagoon - an amusement park in Utah. The girls found out how much they loved the rides - especially the roller coasters. Andrew discovered the bumper cars and rode them over and over again. His smile was ear to ear! He talked about the bumper cars all the way home and is still talking about that trip! We have been giving Andrew his oral chemotherapy for a week. He has not shown any negative effects from it. The stuff tastes horrible (based on his reaction), but he seems to be tolerating it otherwise. His energy level isn't very high, but the day at Lagoon showed that he can have a lot of fun and play hard. The "Make a Wish" people were able to move up Andrew's Disney World visit to next week. We leave Pocatello Tuesday for Salt Lake and fly to Florida on Wednesday for a week. Then we are going to Minnesota to visit family for a week. Andrew is also getting to ride/drive a train today at the Pocatello rail yard. He is very excited! We ask for your prayers for Andrew and our family. Pray that Andrew would be healed and/or spared the pain. We pray for a miracle and we prepare for the worst. We need your prayers of support for us to have wisdom in all the incredibly difficult decisions we face and courage and hope as we face each day. Please pray especially in the next few days for Brittney. Last night a classmate of hers died in an accident. Brittney has had a terrible day with that news and still coping with the realities of our family situation. We are dealing with so many challenges, but rest in the promise: "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." - John 14:27 May the peace of God fill your hearts and ours in the challenging days ahead. I am writing this to many people who have not heard of Andrew's struggle to let you all know our situation today. We have just returned from the hospital. Andrew's cancer is back in the original location and has already spread to his bone marrow. Last month there was no sign of it, so it has spread very quickly again. All of the options remaining have, at best, a five percent chance of cure. We have chosen to do whatever we can to make his remaining days as happy and fun as possible. We will not submit him to any of the intense and debilitating treatments. He has some oral chemotherapy that we can administer while we try to move his "Make-a-Wish" trip to Disney World up to as soon as possible. Andrew and our family need your prayers - for a miracle and for strength and for joy in his remaining time. Either God will work a miracle or He is calling Andrew home. Either way there is little we can do ourselves to change that outcome. We rely on Him for our support in the interim. We have Andrew on oral chemotherapy for the short term and then we will likely put him on some stronger chemotherapy drugs to reduce the tumors and keep him comfortable. After a time these chemicals will lose their effectiveness, but we hope to give Andrew as much life as possible until that occurs. We'll stay tonight in Salt Lake City and return to Pocatello tomorrow. Please pray for Andrew and our family as we learn to cope with this very difficult situation. A lot of tears have fallen and a lot will in the next months. Thank you for your special support during this time! We found out today that the tests Andrew had last week came back positive - the cancer has recurred. We leave tonight for Salt Lake City and first thing tomorrow they will re-test to confirm the findings. There are no words that describe how we feel. We ask for your prayers as we once again face the prospect of losing our son, We ask that you would pray for a miracle and God's intervention on Andrew's behalf and that you pray for strength for our family as we face a very uncertain future. Andrew continues to do well although he has had a small increase in his blood pressure medicine to keep that down where it belongs. He continues to be active and healthy and is eating more than his sisters now - a miraculous answer to prayer! Please continue to pray that Andrew's heart will be as healthy physically as it is emotionally and spiritually -- I've never seen a four-year-old that cares as much about others as Andrew. I have so far to go compared to his example! Melissa's brother and his family and her Mom and Dad came to visit over the holidays. It was wonderful to see Dad and Mom again. Dad made enormous progress in their time with us! It was wonderful to be part of that! Please pray that Dad would emerge from the challenges that the strokes have inflicted on his body. By the time they left he was speaking more plainly and laughing more (mostly at us and the way we run around like the proverbial chicken!) Most importantly, I ask for your prayers for Andrew's friend Joe. Monday, July 14th is Joe's 21st birthday. He continues to be receiving experimental treatment, but this week he and his family are in Las Vegas to celebrate his birthday in style. If the experimental therapy is not successful, there is no earthly hope. If it works there is still a lot of challenges ahead for him. Please take Monday, July 14th as a special day to remember Joe and to pray for his healing. If you have opportunity to fast and pray, please do so. If not, please remember this special young man in your prayers. If you get this after his birthday, don't worry - God will honor your prayers whenever you offer them. Lastly, please remember my grandparents in prayer. My grandmother has had her hip replaced and is recovering in Albert Lea (their home) in a nursing home. My grandfather is back in their assisted care apartment. Both are not Christians for various reasons - most have to do with horrible experiences in their youth. Please pray for their spiritual health - they are dear to me and my family and we have tried to gently reach them with God's love, but now in their twilight years, we pray that they will soften to God's call. Dear friends, you have held us up in so many ways - from gifts to encouraging words to the incredible prayer support you have given. We deeply appreciate all your efforts on our behalf. We have so little to give in return, but thanks and prayers for you. We hold you up in prayer as we can and would be glad to pray for your specific needs if you send them to me. God has used you to minister to our needs - please continue to yield to His call to be His hands and feet and you will touch the entire planet with His love. Well after being in Belgium for a couple weeks I was able to spend four nights at home before leaving again. Tonight I am in Boise, Idaho preparing to present a couple of papers at a conference tomorrow. I'll head home tomorrow night so this is a short trip. Andrew was very glad to see me when I get home Wednesday (almost as glad as I was to see him!) He is doing wonderfully!! He is eating well now - pretty much back to his appetite prior to this while ordeal. Praise the Lord! He has gained a little weight and seems to be gaining ground on every front. He remains on heart medication and has regular checkups to review weight and blood count, monthly urine tests to monitor for the marker associated with neuroblastoma to keep close watch for recurrence, and a scan every three months - again to insure no recurrence. The doctors are being very thorough. Andrew is still in therapy - physical, occupational, and speech. He's made excellent progress in each. I've also noticed no significant effect from his hearing loss (the doctors told us that the high frequency loss he experienced should have minimal effect on day to day living.) That loss may be making it a bit harder for him to hear the difference in making an 's' sound with his tongue or just his teeth which is the principal speech issue that remains. All in all we are so thankful for his incredible recovery. He is a very polite, obedient, and happy boy - perhaps a bit too good for a typical four-year-old, but we are so proud of him and what he is accomplishing!! The girls are visiting Grandma and Grandpa Becker in Portland and will be coming back for the 4th of July celebration. Grandpa is doing okay - his cancer seems in control, but the effects of the strokes have diminished his ability to get around which is frustrating for him. We are thankful for each day we have with him as well. God made him a very special man and he is a reminder (just like Andrew) of what one can overcome with God's help and the love and care of others. My parents have successfully moved into their new place and are getting settled. This week was a bit too eventful as they took my grandparents for a little trip and on the way home my grandmother fell and broke her hip. Please pray for my grandma and grandpa. They are not Christians though my family has shared with them again and again. Perhaps in this new challenge the Spirit can reach through the stubbornness and pride to touch their hearts. Grandma turns 97 in July and Grandpa just turned 94 so they've been around and seen a lot of change in our world. We ask for your continued prayers for Andrew. As well as he is doing, we can only take one day at a time. His cancer could return at any moment and we continue to live with a certain feeling like we should be looking over our shoulder. Even saying how well he is doing brings a certain fear that by saying that his condition might change. Please pray that we can return to a bit more normal life, that our girls and family will have a safe trip to Pocatello this week, that my Grandma's surgery for hip replacement will go well and that she and Grandpa will soften their hearts to the Lord. One last request is that God provide wisdom for me to bring balance to my home, work, and church life. It has been a busy time in the Nelson household. Today is Andrew's 4th birthday. We celebrated over the last couple of days. Friday night Andrew was the ring bearer in the wedding of Dana and Zach. Dana was our nanny when Melissa taught as a long term substitute almost two years ago. Zach lived in our basement for a few months around that time as well. Andrew did a good job and looked cute in his tuxedo. When he got up on the platform he looked so cute that Melissa was crying. He saw that and came down to make her feel better. He ended up sitting with us for the rest of the ceremony. All the people and the hustle and bustle of rehearsal and getting him into the tux made him tired. Saturday we went to Heber City, UT with our good friends the Gribas family to see Thomas the Train. Andrew had a great time - we rode on the train and took his picture taken with Sir Topham Hatt and with Thomas. We stopped at some friends' house in Heber while we were there. Their nephew, Uriel, was in Bone Marrow at the same time as Andrew. Greg, the uncle, is the executive chef at Chenez, a fine French restaurant in Park City that I have mentioned previously. It was so good to see them and Uriel is doing very well. We stopped in Salt Lake City for dinner and then drove home. Andrew was exhausted with all the activity. Sunday we celebrated his birthday with presents and a Bob the Builder party. He got a mini-tramp and a bicycle to help with his physical therapy and recovery, but he was most excited to get more trains and tracks for his train table. Today I am on a plane to Belgium (actually the one I am on right now is on its way to Atlanta, the next one goes to Belgium.) I'll be there for a couple of weeks for work at our Belgian plant. It is the first time since March, when Andrew and Melissa came home, that we'll be apart. The last business trip I was on was the week he was diagnosed with cancer, so I have a little trepidation over this trip. Andrew has managed to stay above his threshold weight and so we have avoided putting a tube back in him. He still needs the desire and ability to eat more to start gaining weight. He is off all medication except for those required to maintain his heart function. The indications are that his heart function is remaining good on the medication but he needs to have a long stable period before we can consider reduction or elimination of those. They come twice a day and make him very sleepy so we schedule around them. In most all other ways he (and we) have returned to normal life - thank the Lord. Please hold us up in prayer while we are apart - for Melissa to be able to keep up with the kids, for Andrew to improve his eating, to work on his therapy, and to continue to be cancer-free; and for me to have a safe and productive trip. Today was a busy day at the Nelson household. Kelsey graduated from Kindergarten tonight (with cap and gown and processional music - suitable pomp and circumstance) and Andrew had his NJ tube removed. Outside of wearing a mask in public he now looks like a typical 3 year old! Tonight the principal of the school noted that Andrew was there to watch his sister graduate (as he was introducing me as Chairman of our church to speak to the parents.) Andrew got quite a round of applause which got me all choked up right as I was to speak. It was touching to see all those people clapping for Andrew. Since I last wrote we have been gradually weaning Andrew's medications. He is off almost all of his stomach medications and will be completely off in a few days. He will still have heart medications for some time to come, but our medicine-giving workload will be about half of what it once was. With the removal of his NJ tube he has to take his medicine orally which is a challenge, but we are making progress. The reason the tube was pulled is that Andrew has had a sinus infection in the nostril the tube was in and the antibiotics were slow in having any impact. When the tube came out it was stiff and worn, so it was probably overdue. Now there is a lot of pressure to get Andrew's eating level up because we can't supplement him without this tube. Recently, he has been reluctant to eat much so we will have to keep encouraging him and careful monitor his weight to make sure he doesn't lose any more. Please pray that his appetite would return to sufficient levels to sustain him so we don't have to put another tube in and that his sinus infection will now clear up. He doesn't have a very strong immune system so fighting infections will be more difficult for some time. Saturday was another big day for Andrew - we went to the pool and he got to play in the water and ride (with me) on an inner tube around the Lazy River and had a great time! Each thing that we do that allows him to get back to a more normal life is such a triumph and joy! I don't think I've ever really appreciated all the little things as much as I do now - seeing another chance at life through Andrew's eyes. Next weekend we will celebrate Andrew's 4th birthday (his actual birthday is June 9th, but we'll celebrate on the 7th and 8th.). He is going to get to ride on Thomas the Train on the 7th near Salt Lake City and he is so excited about that! We'll celebrate on the weekend because on June 9th I leave for 16 days to visit our company plant in Belgium. I get the opportunity to work there while Andrew's birthday, Melissa's birthday, and Father's Day roll right on by. (One might sense a bit of bitterness in that last sentence - if you do, don't worry, it's not really all that bad and it is a much better time than being there in May would have been.) Yesterday a representative from Idaho Power came to do a video interview. Their company has an employee charity fund which gave us a very generous gift last winter when Andrew was in Intensive Care. That gift was invaluable to supply our needs for gas and food with all the traveling. They did a video interview to let the employees know where their money went and how much impact it had on our lives. In today's world this is such a rare thing - a company donating money without regard to publicity and self-aggrandizement. We appreciated their gift so much, but it was even more touching that Idaho Power didn't try to garner some sort of commercial benefit from it. We appreciated the opportunity to thank these generous people by video. Sunday we have been asked to be on the Primary Children's Medical Center Telethon to help them raise money for the hospital. We will be interviewed on camera to talk about our experiences there and to encourage others to donate to the hospital. This is another great opportunity for us to repay all the love and care we have received and to share the grace and mercy that God has shown us. School is out this week for us and we'll begin the summer. Andrew is going to take swimming lessons (as will his sisters) and continue with his PT, OT, and Speech Therapy. With school out the nurse that is working with Andrew will probably reduce her time and focus more on therapy homework which will also move us back toward more normalcy. "To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see." - Hebrews 11:1 (Good News Bible) We have learned a great deal from our trials with Andrew, but one stands out - our faith has been strengthened by obvious, visible reinforcement of God's love and grace to us through others and not just those who are here in Pocatello with us, but also those of you across the country and around the world who have prayer so fervently for Andrew and our family. It requires much less faith to see God's hand in things when human beings are actively being His hands and feet. Thanks to each of you for your part in ministering to us. Your love and support shows God's hand in very tangible ways. Please remember to offer thanks to God for His grace and mercy to our family. Compared to many others, our lives have returned to great happiness and joy and God has blessed us with our beautiful boy winning his battle. Please pray for God's continued healing in Andrew and for wisdom and guidance for Melissa and me as we work with the doctors and nurses to return Andrew to a normal life (school in the fall?, how much therapy?, and many other decisions). Please also remember Melissa as she gets to be both mother and father for 16 days in June. Today was a rollercoaster of emotions - from incredible frustrations to greatest joy. Here's the play-by-play, starting with last night: Last night Melissa and I (and a few of our friends) went to a concert with Michael W. Smith, Max Lucado, and Third Day. The concert was awesome - music with a message and tremendous worship time! We left Andrew with a friend (who also happens to be a nurse) while we were at the concert. He had a blast with their children. By the time the concert was over and we picked up Andrew and we drove around the city to get to Melissa's aunt and uncle's house it was midnight. We had an appointment at 8:30 in the Oncology clinic for a physical prior to having his central lines removed. (The central lines are tubes that are inserted through the skin and into his main return vein into the heart. They are used to take blood samples, give IV medications, chemotherapy, etc. Removing it required opening up his skin, disconnecting the tubes, and stitching up the vein and the skin - all in a few minutes work for a surgeon. Sort of intimidating for the rest of us humans...) We got up early, got there on time, and the nurses and doctors sort of stared at us blankly - wondering what we were there for. We explained what we were told and by the time we got everyone on the same page, we were late for surgery. They decided to have us come back later to discuss questions, problems, etc. We went to surgery and had to wait until another patient was done since we were late. They took him in, put him to sleep and removed his lines and he was awake again in a little over 15 minutes. He had 30 or so minutes of recovery before we could leave which made us late for his echocardiogram. That's where things got a little tense. We sat a long time while others went in ahead of us. Melissa had a few choice words for the staff after watching this for 90 minutes and they got us in shortly after that. The test took 5 minutes and showed Andrew's heart is functioning at normal levels. He only achieves this because he is on the medications, but it is encoura |
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suspect that the side effects of the chemotherapy are causing some
of that. The principal side effect is diarrhea and that has weakened
him and made it hard for him to keep his weight up, but he maintains
a positive outlook in spite of this. His blood counts are doing
pretty well and his eating has its ups and downs as well. The urine
test from three weeks ago came back with the two indicators even
further apart. For counts that should track each other, this is
indeed a puzzlement to the doctors. He had another test Monday along
with a few other tests. We don't have many results, but what we
have has been favorable.